INTP Relationships
INTPs have among the hardest time finding and getting into relationships. This is because relationships for INTPs can be very complicated. They want to be desired; they want somebody to be direct with them, but INTPs also enjoy the chase. They enjoy the mystery and wondering about the person. In this article we’ll explore what relationships are like for INTPs and why they are so difficult.
How INTPs Flirt
When INTPs have a crush, they can be a little bit coquettish. They enjoy making jokes and flirting. At the same time, they want to know that the other person desires them. I’m sorry to say, INTPs, you guys can be a little bit awkward when it comes to flirting. INTPs feel a little bit insecure regarding the feelings of another person. They want to know for sure, does this person actually like me? It has to make sense to them that you like them. You can’t just go up to an INTP and say, “I like you,” because they’re just going to wonder why. It’s not an insecure thing; it’s just because everything has to make sense to them. You have to show your rationale to them and have it make sense that you’re that type of person who would like what they have.
It’s Hard To Flirt With INTPs
INTPs don’t pick up on sensory cues easily. A very funny video by Casually Explained on YouTube called “Is She into You?” (linked below) is likely made by an INTP for INTPs. INTPs respond ridiculously densely to subtle flirtation clues that others give. Their minds consider all possibilities so they think well, they could be flirting with me, or it could just be something completely different. Alternatively, the INTP just might not notice altogether your flirtations and the sensory because that’s not their realm.
So, that leaves it up to the other person to find the INTP because the INTP isn’t going to find them. INTPs aren’t the biggest when it comes to initiating. Thus, if you are an INTP, you have to position yourself to be found, in reality, by these types that you are most compatible with. Unfortunately, for INTPs the personality types they are most compatible with are among the least common of the types. As a result, many INTPs may just give up and think, “Dating is not for me. I don’t like anybody. Nobody understands me.” But that’s not true. It’s just that dating is extra challenging for INTPs.
What INTPs Need To Start A Relationship
INTPs are well-matched for the type of person that know what they want and goes after it directly. INTPs are the least likely to initiate when it comes to a first kiss or asking somebody out on a date. If you’re an INTP and you do that, you’re well-developed and mature, and congratulations, but that’s something that’s difficult for INTPs. The ideal situation for the INTP is to know that it makes sense. They need to feel comfortable knowing that the other person likes them and that they can go out and talk about interesting concepts and theories. INTPs want to bring out their logical selves and enjoy hypothesizing with someone about possibilities. Just as importantly, they don’t want to worry about how they’re making the other person feel so they can be themselves.
INTPs are notorious for having a difficult time dating. They’re hard to read and emotions make them uncomfortable. So, they’re one of the types that people need the most help understanding. If you need help dating an INTP, download our INTP dating guide with our top 20 practical tips.
INTP Emotional Expression
It’s not that INTPs can’t be empathetic, and caring, and sweet, because they really are. However, they’re just kind of awkward around these types of situations. For example, if somebody is crying, an INTP’s initial reaction is going to be I don’t know what to do and kind of pull away. They want to help but they just don’t really know how. That isn’t their forte. They like to be with someone that they can serve their logic to on a cold, hard platter and that will be very rational with them.
Moreover, INTPs just want to feel comfortable with the person. If you take them out and you’ve got plans, an INTP is happy because they can just show up and be themselves without worrying about a thing. INTPs are complex, but they’re also like simple puppies. They just want food and maybe some wine or beer, if they’re old enough, and to sit on a comfy couch. They’re super intelligent, super complex, but also just treat them like cute little puppies and make them comfy, and they will love you for it.
INTP Relationship Example
If you want a good example of an INTP relationship, you can look at Karl Pilkington (video linked below). His long-term girlfriend is named Suzanne. She never appears in anything, but he does talk about how they met, and it’s so INTP-ish. They were at work and he wanted a hot chocolate from the vending machine, and she offered to buy it for him and never asked for the money back, and he thought, in his words, “She’s alright.” That’s an INTP for you.
They’re complex, yet so simple. Suzanne initiated with him. She gave him a good experience, gave him a nice hot chocolate, showed that she wanted him by continuing to initiate with him, and now they’ve been together for a long time. However, they are not married, which is an important note with INTPs.
INTPs And Marriage
Not surprisingly, INTPs can have a hard time with commitment. They’re the types that like to keep their options open. Once they get into a commitment, they’re solid. INTPs relationships are loyal, good relationships, but getting them to take that step and then later get married can be difficult. They’re not the types to go out and meet tons of people all the time, but they like to think that they could. So, this is another barrier for an INTP, the what-if, what-could-be, and that’s why relationships for them can be tough to start. Once they get into the relationship, INTPs have a very good chance of developing good, loving, caring, supportive relationships, just like any other type.
INTPs and Dating Apps
INTPs enjoy the convenience of dating apps because they don’t have to go out of the house to try to meet people. They often prefer to meet someone online where it’s not so much of a drain on their energy and they can let their personalities and wit shine. However, they find it hard to stand out on shallow dating apps where people make decisions on a profile picture. INTPs are typically modest and private people and don’t like to showcase their bodies on apps for likes. They would rather make real connections with intelligent people who understand their minds.
TypeMatch is a dating and friendship app designed with INTPs in mind. It uses personality quizzes to match you with people whose minds are built to naturally understand yours. It connects with real people who want to form real connections and look beyond the superficial. Try TypeMatch today by downloading now.
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