INTP and INTJ Relationship

Are INTP and INTJ Relationships Compatible?

INTP and INTJ relationships are fun to start because they share mutual interests but their different perspectives can lead to conflict. TypeMatch ranks this relationship medium in terms of compatibility in the free TypeMatch dating and friendship app based on personality type compatibility. Below we detail what makes this relationship so great but also so difficult to maintain.

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INTP and INTJ Attraction

INTPs and INTJs love conversation together because they tend to share interests. They’re great for friendships and partnerships as they never run out of topics to talk about and enjoy each other’s company. While they have common interests, both approach them from entirely different perspectives. Each of them finds each other’s insights foreign and interesting but doesn’t completely understand them.

INTPs and INTJs are naturally drawn to each other and want to get to know each other more deeply. However, they find that they cannot relate on a deep level, and trying to do so drains them. When attempting closeness, they tend to feel awkward. Further, these types enjoy each other’s sense of humor and are comfortable hanging around together. However, they typically do not like each other’s friends so much and feel like they don’t belong.

Communication Issues

Difficult communication is the biggest problem that INTP INTJ couples face. They find that no matter how hard they try, they cannot fully understand each other and must translate their minds to each other. They have similar thoughts but explain them in completely different ways. This trouble creates psychological distance between the two. They cannot support and console each other to the extent that they would like. Overall, their misunderstandings prevent them from the closeness that they desire. The two must mutually adjust to their partner’s style which gets them halfway there but no more. However, with the constant struggle, they do help each other to develop the skill of perspective-taking.

These communications issues invariably lead to arguments between the INTP and INTJ couple. The couple is mostly peaceful and does not have huge fights since they cannot strongly offend each other. However, because they have different ways of communicating, they always need to translate what their partner has said into their own language of understanding. To their partner, it seems like they are trying to misunderstand them. INTPs and INTJs do not have big arguments but lots of little ones that go nowhere and exhaust both of them. It’s impossible for either one to win an argument since they can’t prove their point to the other. Basically, the longer they argue, the longer they go nowhere together.

When it comes to dating and relationships, INTJs are notoriously hard to read and elusive. INTPs are notorious for having a difficult time dating. They’re hard to read and emotions make them uncomfortable.

If you’re dating or trying to date one of these types, download our guide with our top 20 pieces of practical advice for dating an INTJ or INTP.

INTJ Dating Guide

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Approach problems differently

Not only do INTPs and INTJs communicate differently, but they take opposite approaches to solving problems. As a result, they cannot help each other in the way that they would like. They want to compromise and give each other advice so that they can be closer and show they care. However, their advice falls flat and they have difficulty in reaching compromises when it comes to big projects and solving problems. Luckily, they respect each other and see that the other person is capable enough to handle it on their own. INTPs and INTJs eventually find that they must do their own things. They can work alongside each other but not together on some things.

Insecurity in the relationship

In an INTP and INTJ relationship, both partners create strange insecurity in each other. Both see each other as capable, but less capable than themselves. It seems odd then, to both of them the other one seems to be achieving more. This is because they have different talents and approaches to problem-solving which make them succeed in different areas. They impress each other but do not truly understand how the other is getting so much further with what seems to be less ability.

INTP and INTJ Relationship Advice

Any relationship between an INTP and INTJ has an optimistic effect on both of them. They tend to mobilize each other to take on new risks, challenges, and adventures. In this way, they create positive change in each other’s lives and get things going. INTP and INTJ couples cannot let themselves stagnate. They must energize each other and frequently engage with and create new things. For example, these two make great travel buddies and should frequently incorporate that aspect into their relationship. Also, they must be careful to not act on false optimism too soon and take on too big of risks. They have to balance security and novelty properly and maintain the right amount of closeness and psychological distance to keep the relationship.