The number one question that people ask about INTJ relationships is how to tell if an INTJ likes you. That is because it is notoriously difficult to tell. They are not only hard to read but also especially awkward around their crush. Rest assured that if they’re interacting with you more than they absolutely have to, they probably like you (at least as a friend). INTJs prefer to be alone than in bad company and they assess most people as bad company. If they go to a social event because you’re going to be there, you know they’re very interested in you.
When it comes to their crush, the INTJs first move is to observe from a distance. It’s common for them to google their crush and learn everything they can about them. This observation phase lasts a while because INTJs like to get to know people slowly. They’re highly selective and don’t want a relationship just for the sake of it. Don’t rush things with them. By building patterns in their minds, they project the relationship into the future and do risk assessments. INTJs approach every decision systematically and relationships are no different. Though it may seem unromantic to some, learning about you and figuring out your patterns is their way of flirting.
A problem that many INTJs face is that they take so long in the observation phase that they miss the opportunity to ask the person out. INTJs sometimes struggle with taking action when they haven’t had enough time to build a system in their head. They need to evaluate the risks in order to feel comfortable. For INTJs, dating and relationships are calculated and approached with intention. Also, INTJs usually are not ones for casual dating. They view shallow relationships as a waste of time and not providing any real value to them. They prefer to invest for the long term. Once they invest, though, INTJs are committed as they are sure of their decisions. INTJs are the type most likely to date with the purpose of marriage.
Another problem that INTJs have is that they can seem to be jumping to conclusions about a person. They have a bias towards patterns they’ve picked up on about a person. However, these patterns may not reflect the actual, present reality and they often judge people harshly.
Regarding emotions, INTJs are not emotionally expressive but do feel very deeply. Crushes and love can be uncomfortable because they do not like the emotion of love and vulnerability taking over control of them. As a result, they sometimes disappear for a while when they have a crush to deal with their emotions.
Once they observe and analyze their crush and are confident that they will agree to a date, INTJs like to directly ask the person out. They don’t beat around the bush and prefer to get things out in the open. For dates, INTJs prefer to keep the setting casual and the conversation deep. They want to get to know the person for real with little formality. However, they will still try to impress their crush with their intelligence and skills.
INTJs are goal-oriented people and look at their relationships the same way. They want to work on the relationship and grow together. Stagnation is not an option and they want to see that the relationship is slowly reaching the state they have envisioned. INTJs want to optimize everything in their lives, including their love life. So, they seek out problems in the relationship to fix them. They’re not the types to sweep problems under the rug. Instead, they bring issues to light to confront and fix directly. They’re not idealists but have high standards and vision for where they want the relationship to be. If it’s not there, it needs to be worked on.
INTJs highly value loyalty as they focus on long-term commitment and look for patterns of behavior. Even a hint of disloyalty is enough to make them question the long-term viability of a relationship. So, they can present at times as a bit paranoid and controlling in a relationship. They want to know everything that’s going on if they feel insecure. A pattern of honesty and trust can help alleviate their natural anxiety towards disloyalty. INTJs typically aren’t ones for ghosting but if they see a pattern they don’t like they will bluntly end a relationship. It may seem they have no remorse but it hurts them greatly.
For INTJs, dating apps are mostly an inefficient waste of time. It takes the average user 7500 swipes to have a meaningful connection. TypeMatch is efficient dating that goes beyond the superficial data of a person to what really matters for compatibility. It’s less time-consuming to find meaningful connections and they can still do it from the comfort of their home without the stress of having to interact with a lot of people. Download TypeMatch today to get a relationship where you feel loved for who you really are.