ESTP and ESTJ Relationship
Are ESTP and ESTJ Relationships Compatible?
TypeMatch ranks ESTP and ESTJ relationships as medium in terms of compatibility in the free TypeMatch dating and friendship app based on personality type compatibility. Below we detail what makes this relationship so great but also so difficult to maintain.
ESTP and ESTJ Attraction
ESTPs and ESTJs love conversation together because they tend to share interests. They’re great for friendships and partnerships as they never run out of topics to talk about and enjoy each other’s company. While they have common interests, both approach them from entirely different perspectives. Each of them finds each other’s insights foreign and interesting but doesn’t completely understand them.
ESTPs and ESTJs are naturally drawn to each other and want to get to know each other more deeply. However, they find that they cannot relate on a deep level, and trying to do so drains them. When attempting closeness, they tend to feel awkward. Further, these types enjoy each other’s sense of humor and are comfortable hanging around together. However, they typically do not like each other’s friends so much and feel like they don’t belong.
Communication Issues
Difficult communication is the biggest problem that ESTP ESTJ couples face. They find that no matter how hard they try, they cannot fully understand each other and must translate their minds to each other. They have similar thoughts but explain them in completely different ways. This trouble creates psychological distance between the two. They cannot support and console each other to the extent that they would like. Overall, their misunderstandings prevent them from the closeness that they desire. The two must mutually adjust to their partner’s style which gets them halfway there but no more. However, with the constant struggle, they do help each other to develop the skill of perspective-taking.
These communications issues invariably lead to arguments between the ESTP and ESTJ couple. The couple is mostly peaceful and does not have huge fights since they cannot strongly offend each other. However, because they have different ways of communicating, they always need to translate what their partner has said into their own language of understanding. To their partner, it seems like they are trying to misunderstand them. ESTPs and ESTJs do not have big arguments but lots of little ones that go nowhere and exhaust both of them. It’s impossible for either one to win an argument since they can’t prove their point to the other. Basically, the longer they argue, the longer they go nowhere together.
Approach problems differently
Not only do ESTPs and ESTJs communicate differently, but they take opposite approaches to solve problems. As a result, they cannot help each other in the way that they would like. They want to compromise and give each other advice so that they can be closer and show they care. However, their advice falls flat and they have difficulty in reaching compromises when it comes to big projects and solving problems. Luckily, they respect each other and see that the other person is capable enough to handle it on their own. ESTPs and ESTJs eventually find that they must do their own things. They can work alongside each other but not together on some things.
Insecurity in the relationship
In an ESTP and ESTJ relationship, both partners create strange insecurity in each other. Both see each other as capable, but less capable than themselves. It seems odd then, to both of them the other one seems to be achieving more. This is because they have different talents and approaches to problem-solving which make them succeed in different areas. They impress each other but do not truly understand how the other is getting so much further with what seems to be less ability.
ESTP and ESTJ Relationship Advice
Any relationship between an ESTP and ESTJ has an optimistic effect on both of them. They tend to mobilize each other to take on new risks, challenges, and adventures. In this way, they create positive change in each other’s lives and get things going. ESTP and ESTJ couples cannot let themselves stagnate. They must energize each other and frequently engage with and create new things. For example, these two make great travel buddies and should frequently incorporate that aspect into their relationship. Also, they must be careful to not act on false optimism too soon and take on too big of risks. They have to balance security and novelty properly and maintain the right amount of closeness and psychological distance to keep the relationship.
More Resources for ESTP & ESTJ Relationships
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Check out the relationship pages for both personality types: ESTP, ESTJ
Find out about the type’s compatibility with other personality types: free compatibility chart
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