ESTJ and ESTJ Relationship
Are You an ESTJ Couple?
Have you ever met someone who seemed to be extremely similar to you despite coming from an entirely different background? It could be that you shared the same MBTI personality type. Your reaction may have been instant attraction or instant annoyance, depending on your relationship with yourself. These relationships can highlight what we love and hate most about ourselves. But are they compatible? Read on to find out the positives and negatives of ESTJ and ESTJ Relationships.
The Positives
When two ESTJs meet, it can feel exciting. Couples with the same MBTI type understand where the other person is coming from and where their mind is. Communication flows easily and they feel as if they’re on the same page.
The most valuable aspect of an ESTJ and ESTJ relationship is the ability to share and compare notes on the human experience. It feels relieving to meet someone who naturally understands and relates to you and the way you see the world. As such, this relationship inspires growth for those who feel isolated and rejected by others. ESTJ and ESTJ relationships are best friend relationships of two people who just “get” each other and so feel a deep connection. Further, they often agree on how life tasks should be handled and what should be prioritized, thus making them good partners.
Finally, though they have the same MBTI type, ESTJ couples may not even realize it since they still feel so different from each other in many ways. Type isn’t all of who someone is and other aspects of their personality and their life experiences still set them apart and make them valuably different from each other. They can also be set apart by different stages of development or maturity within their MBTI type. As such, ESTJ couples can still benefit from and appreciate each other’s differences. It is not like dating yourself but rather like someone who sees the world in the same way and processes information similarly.
The Negatives
ESTJ and ESTJ relationships can be too similar in the wrong ways because they share the same weaknesses. As a result, they are susceptible to reinforcing each other’s weak points and self-indulgent behaviors instead of focusing on growth. If they become too self-indulgent, they shelter themselves from the world and adopt an “us against the world” mentality. They can reject those who don’t see the world from the same perspective as they do and create a bubble of isolation from different perspectives.
Other negatives are that ESTJs freak out about the same types of things and so lack the benefit of a balanced perspective in those cases. They are critical in the same ways which can further isolate them or cause tension in the relationship. Further, since ESTJs share perspectives and strengths, they often compete over who can do their mutual strengths better. Think of an ESTJ couple competing for who can be the ESTJest.
Overall, despite these risks, if they understand their personality type and are dedicated to self-improvement, this couple can support each other in that journey since they are headed in the same or a similar direction.
The Conclusion
Because ESTJs have a natural understanding of each other, they can make excellent friendships and share some compatibility. On the downside, they bring out competitiveness and shared weaknesses present long-term problems. Overall, conflict is inherent and unavoidable in relationships and even the most compatible couples face problems.
No matter their MBTI type, a relationship is still made up of two individuals and its success depends on the health of each individual. In relationship compatibility, personality is only half of the story and MBTI type only makes up a portion of that. Individuals are highly complex and we have to account for their experience, culture, age, and everything else that makes them, them.
More Resources for ESTJs
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Find out ESTJs compatibility with other personality types: ESTJ compatibility chart
Read more about the ESTJ personality type in relationships here.
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Sources:
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Ekaterina Filatova “Art of understanding yourself and others”
Eugene Gorenko, Vladimir Tolstikov, “Nature of self”
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Laima Stankevichyute “Intertype relations”
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R.K. Sedih, “Informational psychoanalysis”
Sergei Ganin
Valentina Meged, Anatoly Ovcharov
V.V. Gulenko “Criteria of reciprocity”
V.V. Gulenko, A.V. Molodtsev, “Introduction to socionics”