ESTP and INTJ Relationship

Are ESTP and INTJ Relationships Compatible?

TypeMatch rates ESTP and INTJ relationships as having high compatibility in our free TypeMatch dating and friendship app based on personality type. Below we explain what makes ESTP and INTJ relationships great but not without their challenges.

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ESTP and INTJ Attraction

ESTPs and INTJs are often instantly attracted to each other and find each other fascinating. They only partially understand each other, which makes them endlessly intriguing to each other and makes them magnets for each other. To each one, it seems like the other is being purposefully mysterious and holding back something important. They love to surprise each other and be flirty and romantic in this way.

ESTP and INTJs are called incomplete complements because they only half understand each other. While they strongly attract each other, they have trouble moving their relationship to the next level. Each sees some things they like and dislike about their partner’s behavior, but they don’t openly communicate about them. As a result, the relationship takes a long time to establish.

ESTP and INTJ Communication

ESTPs and INTJs can talk for hours and never get tired of each other. They have endless topics of discussion and have conversations that are deep and interesting for both of them. According to Socionics, there is trouble with communication in that the ESTP doesn’t fully listen to the INTJ but continues on their own path in the conversation. However, the INTJ isn’t offended and adapts to the ESTP’s style. In their conversations, both respect and preserve their individual viewpoints. They also give each other important insights that the other may have missed in their limited view, thus mutually expanding their perspectives. For this couple, the more time they spend together, the more they find there is so much more to learn.

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Rollercoaster Relationship

ESTP and INTJ relationships have an unpredictable and volatile quality that makes them feel like an emotional rollercoaster at times. They exist in a constant flux of calm and chaos as arguments tend to happen out of nowhere as one person does something that throws the relationship backward. As a result, they have trouble getting as close as they would like and moving things forward. They generally work well together but differences in world views and misunderstandings cause arguments. So, it’s hard for this pair to achieve a fully unified front and they lack a little bit of commitment to each other.

Luckily, ESTPs and INTJs do not stay angry with each other for long and quickly make up after an argument. The lows also bring highs as this relationship has lots of passion. They throw each other off-balance in a way that’s exciting but never lets them completely relax. Overall, high emotional reactivity can ruin this relationship. The two must learn to regulate themselves and take short breaks to calm down before discussing and compromising.

Partnership Dynamics

When it comes to working together as partners in life, ESTPs and INTJs struggle. The way they take action on things is different. So, each one does things that the other doesn’t expect or like. They have no trouble when it comes to planning together and understanding each other’s motivations. It’s just that when it comes to implementation, they diverge. As a result, ESTPs and INTJs aren’t productive in moving towards their goals together. They have some mutual weaknesses and have trouble finishing projects together as they get frustrated.

Similarly, ESTPs and INTJs have trouble fixing their problems in the relationship. They talk about them a lot but nothing really changes. They want to help each other solve problems but each one is stubborn in their own ways of doing things and doesn’t want the other’s advice. Neither understands that in trying to help, they frustrate and annoy each other.

ESTP and INTJ Relationship Advice

Overall, as half-complements, ESTPs and INTJs disappoint each other a bit. Both take care of themselves first and their partner second. They tend to be together but lead separate lives and have different friend groups. This can lead to trouble as others get in the way of their closeness and stability as a couple.

These two can be very compatible and have a healthy and productive relationship if they learn to work together. It’s essential for them to make an effort to maintain closeness and practicality in order to help each other and compromise. Also, ESTPs and INTJs must get to know each other and get close slowly over time. It’s not good for them to rush into a relationship or force closeness. They have to discuss problems and frustrations immediately rather than hiding them or holding them in. Finally, to succeed as a couple they must learn to deal with issues less emotionally and more pragmatically by talking about the facts.